TRU Launches New Corporate Partnerships
Thompson Rivers University, President Kathleen Sherf, announced today that the university will be partnering with several new corporate sponsors to compensate for projected shortfalls in government funding.
"The goal isn't just to raise money, it is to connect students to the real world that exists beyond the halls of academia," said Dr. Sherf, "while helping to improve student life."
The first sponsor will be "Stress3Essays.com," a company dedicated to improving student life by providing high quality essays for subjects ranging from emerging diseases in Biology to ethics in Philosophy.
Faculty will be strongly encouraged to wear T-shirts to class bearing the logo of the current corporate sponsor (a new sponsor each month). A contractual requirement for faculty to provide service to TRU will help to enhance compliance.
Asked about the new initiative, faculty member Barbara Bearman in the English department responded,"After years of marking what students have been directly passing for thought, I'm encouraging them to subscribe to the Platinum Level Service. It will be nice to finally read something coherent."
Stress3Essays.com will be the official TRU corporate sponsor starting April 1st. They will be followed by an on-line casino, "Guaranteed Winners," whose motto, "Who needs a degree to be rich?" has put them at the top of the very competitive on-line casino industry.
1 comment:
Okay. I admit it. You totally got me on this one. I was hyper-ventilating with outrage on the first sentence, hysterical by the third! Nice one!
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